New Direction - Will you come with me?

When my children were preschoolers, I use to write down my thoughts, feelings, devotional inspirations.  I didn't realize I was journalling.  I did it because it caused me to think.  It gave me something concrete to see God's hand and remember how He was working in my life.

I remember those early days of staying at home with my kids.  I chose to stay home but what was happening in the "real" world got loss sometimes.  I wondered if I was doing anything important.  If I was doing anything right.  Mostly I think I wondered if anyone noticed or cared. 

I still have some of those early writings.  When I read over them I see how God was there.  How God's hand guided me, encouraged me, comforted me, and forgave me.  I wondered if I should throw them away?  When I die would I want my kids to read them?

The writings were meant to be between God and myself.  I only have 2 regrets.  One I should have been more honest.  And I should have wrote more.  I couldn't write everything.  We didn't have a computer to store my writings until I was ready to print or post.  So when you're busy "mothering"...things like writing didn't come very often.  I also love to paint.  But after my, then 2 year old, son, Brandon got into my oil paint and smeared in on my bedspread and wall... I had to put my paint aside too.

I started writing a blog a couple years ago.  I now do two blogs.  The second one is a video blog that ministers to women through instruction, helps, and encouragement. (Womanhood GFF) In the past whenever I posted on the Godfreyhouse blog, I wrote my posts more as a devotional of my thoughts.  This year I want to be more diary or personal with my post.  But I've been afraid.

There I've said it.  Fear has been a struggle for me for almost 2 years.  And this fear has made me less confident in myself and some ways in the Lord.  This year I would like to begin the journey of setting myself free from this fear.  Well let me re-phrase that.  I want to allow the Lord to set me free from this stronghold "FEAR". 

                     (Video: Give Me Jesus by Fairview Baptist Choir)

I'm not afraid to die.  I'm not afraid of people.  I'm not afraid of the economy.  I am afraid of situations that have and may still physically hurt me.  (Including unknown medical mysteries.)

Bare with me as I step out and open up.  I'm not looking for approval, praise, or compliments.  I'm looking for freedom.  I know where to go to get it.  I am willing to take the readers of this blog with me. 

That is if you want to go.

Todds first sled

This was our youngest child, Todd, first opportunity to go sledding in the snow. One reason is because South East TN doesn't get a lot of snow. When we do it usually less than 2 inches and is melted by the afternoon. This was the largest snowfall since the Blizzard of 1993. By night time our house had close to 10 inches of beautiful snow.

Christmas Snow - Boys LOVED IT!

We've had a little snow in November or early December. We may get a little in January. But this is the first Christmas Day snow since 1968 in South East Tennessee.

My Race

When I was in Elementary school, I entered every running contest I could.  I LOVED Field Day.  This was when schools in my area competed in various outdoor activities.  There were sack races, tug of wars, relays, softball throws, and many more.  I loved to run. As a teenager I would run 3-5 miles a day just because it was fun.

After I was married and had 2 small children, I considered a job as a security guard.  One of the requirements was to be able to run a mile in 6 minutes.  At this point in my life I hadn't run since college.  I put my running shoes on and took off running.  On my first test run, I ran a mile in 8 minutes.  Not bad for a Mom of two.

Later when I was in my 30's we adopted our third child.  When he was two I opened a Home Day Care.  For my mental health, I started back at walking/running 4 days a week.  I got to where I ran 2-3 miles and walked 2 miles.  I enjoyed running again.

My daughter and son in-law can tell you more about running challenges than I can.  They accomplished something that I had never tried.  A marathon. They trained for several months.  Wore out a few pairs of shoes.  Injured and felt pain in areas they've never had pain before.  (To read about their experiece read H20 Runners.

The writer of Hebrews 12 talks about a race.  A race that each believer is in.  Yes, if you are a person of faith and a follower of Christ you are a runner.  This passage goes into detail, in the first couple verses, about how to best run your race.  But for this moment I want to skip over that and focus on the end of verse 1.  Hebrews 12:1b "...the race that is set before us,"

When my pastor preached from this passage Sunday night.  I was encouraged about two things. 

1. God puts us in our race.  "...the race that is set before us," God chose a race for me.  You have your race.  I have mine. 
2. My goal in this race is not to win.  But to finish.  When my daughter and her husband ran a marathon, had they ran 26 miles, and stopped with 325 yards to go...then they wouldn't have finished the race.  All they would have accomplished was running really far.  A marathon is officially 26.2 miles.

I am in my race.  You are in yours.  I want to finish well.  Do you?  How are you doing in your race?  Sometimes I'm not doing so well. In Hebrews 12:12,

 "Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees;"

Sometimes I'm not strong.  Sometimes I don't think I can make it.  Marathon runners struggle with that.  I'm told the last 4-6 miles are the hardest.  Sometimes I have to pick up my hands and get off my feeble knees and start again.  Pick up and keep going.  I need to finish my race.  I Corinthians 15:58 is my life verse.

 "Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord."

My race is different than yours.  Some believers are running on a track that is level and smooth.  Others, the track is hilly and hard. The long stretches can be very difficult.  Our track conditions can change at anytime.  We need to help one another by encouraging each believer to get up, keep going, and finish.

I want my kids to see their Mom finish with strong faith.  I want my grandchildren to hear stories of how their grandmother loved the Lord and served Him in spite of difficulties and challenges.  I want my friends to know that I truly do love the Lord with all my heart, soul, and body.  I want to be like Paul,

II Timothy 4:7, "I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith:"

2011 Goals

We are expected to make New Year Resolutions.  And it's also acceptable if you break them within 60 days.  Instead of setting "Resolutions" ... I prefer "Goals".  Is there a difference?  Thanks for asking.  I think so.  Resolutions are more like a promise or a contract where you are bound to keep your end of the deal.  Where as goals are ideals and intentions that you want to strive with good planning and good intention to keep.  Breaking a resolution almost sounds illegal.  Setting a goal gives you something obtainable.  If you don't quite get there...you got closer than you would have had you not had something to work hard towards.

Last year I set out  not be on a diet but to have better health.  I did want to loose 60 lbs and get into a size 10 jeans.  I kept myself accountable to friends.  I posted pictures each month beginning with March to show and share my progress.  It helped me a lot. 

Did I meet my goals?  Yes, I met my goal of better health.  My cholesterol dropped 50 points without medication.  My blood pressure is also down without medication.  In spite of starting 2010 recovering from shoulder and hand surgery and ending the year with neck surgery ... I do feel better.  I did manage to loose 35 lbs.  And I can wear size 12 is almost all my clothes.  YAY!!!

So what do I do in 2011?  I continue where I left off.   I need to reset my goals and try to add a few new ones.  Here they are:

1. Continue working on better health ( I don't think this one never stops)
    * Better eating choices
    * Loose 30 lbs
    * Get into size 10 jeans :)
    * Get my cholesterol 25 more points lower

    * Keep a regular exercise program going 

2. Organize and declutter small areas of my house
    The spring of 2009, I went through my house (kitchen cabinets and closets)
    and did a serious purge of stuff and junk.  I have no idea what                  possessed me to do that.  After having the auto accident in June 09, I am soooo glad I did.  It proved to be very helpful for me and to friends/family when they had to come over and help me.  Now I need to go a little deeper. 
    * Clean "junk" drawers
    * Clean closets
    * Go through my clothes
    * Donate toys
    * Repaint a guest bedroom

Hall Closet (before)

Hall closet (after)  I painted these closet in Spring 09.  They just needed a little attention.

This closet is in the boys bathroom.  It's the home of towels/wash clothes.  It is also where all the games, crafts, and school supplies live.

Now we can see which game to play next.

3.  I want to write more.  I keep LOTS of notes.  I have LOTS of words in my head and on my heart.  I just don't sit down and write.

4.  Trust God.  Give Him "me". My body is weaker and more feeble.  What I have I want Him to use.  Trust Him with my diagnoses and recoveries.  I need to NOT be afraid.  That's a big one for me.  Fear is a whole other discussion in the future.

5. Last but not least, I want to enjoy turning 50 this year.  I know you are all shocked.  And would have never believed that I was this old.  Hahaha  I will turn 50 on May 6th.  I plan to celebrate the rest of the year. 

Set some goals not resolutions.  Don't set yourself up to fail.  But give yourself enough of a challenge to strive for a better you in 2011.

ROBOT

My Christ Story

A pastor challenged his congregation to write their "Christ Story".  A lot of people think they have a "Christ Story" because their grandfather was a preacher or their parents were missionaries.  Some folks think they have a "Christ Story" because of the church they attend or the domination they support.  Many good people feel they have a "Christ Story" because of all the good deeds they've done for so many hurting and needy people in their community and around the world.  Though all these are good stories.  None of these say anything about what Christ has personally done just for them.  Jesus Christ is a personal Savior.  Jesus Christ wants to personally save and do amazing things with individual people.  I want to take a few minutes and share my "Christ Story".

There was a 17 year old girl finding herself in an unplanned pregnancy.  She was scared, alone, still in high school, no job, and pregnant.  The father was stationed in the army.  He was soon to be deployed to Greenland.  Friends and family didn't offer a lot of options.  The suggestion of abortion was a more realistic choice.  But because of the inconvenience of distance and not being able to drive...the nearest abortion clinic was going to be over a couple hours away.  The young girl and handsome soldier married on Valentine's Day 1961.  The baby was born 6 weeks early on May 6, 1961.  The young newly wed  named her baby Donna Marie.  The baby was born with some physical challenges experiencing seizures and paralysis in one arm and one leg.  After extra time spent in the army hospital and several weeks of therapy the baby developed fine and over came the physical difficulties. 

My name is Donna Marie, the baby girl born May 6th at Fort Dix, New Jersey.  I have two scripture passages that I live by.  One passage is my life verse the other is my passion.  My life verse is I Corinthians 15:58; "Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord".   My passion verse is Proverbs 31:8; "Open thy mouth for the dumb in the cause of all such as are appointed to destruction."  No one was speaking up for me.  While a young lady was scared and family was embarrassed and stressed no one thinks about the unborn baby.  I thank God for not having a convenient abortion clinic in the area.

 I did not always value and appreciate how God had saved my life.  It took me growing up, being married, having children, and adopting children for me to fully appreciate what God had done for me.  Before I could possibly value my physical life, I first had to realize my spiritual life needed God.  On March 1975, Easter Sunday morning, as best I knew how, I asked God to save me and to forgive me of my sins. I knew that without Him I would go to hell.

I met my husband on a blind date on March 21, 1981.  By mid April he asked me to marry him.  We wanted to get married in a month that had a Friday 21st.  The next month with that day was in June.  I thought  that was too soon.  The next month was August.  Perfect.  Five months from our blind date we were husband and wife.  Our first baby girl was born July 3, 1982.  Our second baby boy was born August 10, 1983. We were content with our little family.  One baby girl and one baby boy, momma and daddy living in the country happy and satisfied.  Until 1987, when I wanted to have another baby and could not.  After many hours of counseling, Doctor appointments and times of thinking I was pregnant and wasn't my heart was broken and heavy. (View my video clips on me speaking about my Chosen Children and pictures of the Chosen Children.)

The Lord lead me to a ministry out of Nashville.  They were a Crisis Pregnancy Center and a licensed Adoption Agency.  Our family jumped in and became very active.  We fostered 12 newborn babies, counseled over 3,000 teenagers, volunteered, directed a local crisis office, host large fund raisers, and even adopted one baby in Jan 1992.  Through this ministry I really learned just how God not only saved my soul, but how He saved my life before someone had a chance to take it.

You would think that knowing God had saved my life twice that I could stand in front of a church or a group of believers and be confident about life and answers to  spiritual matters.  I experienced abuse and alcohol in the home.  I can tell about being engaged 3 times before being marrying my husband.  I understand wanting a child and not being able to conceive.  I can share about 5 adoptions not going through.  I can even tell about my heart being broken when one of my children called me from jail because he was arrested for drug possession.  I can tell about adopting a troubled teen, being hit/threatened by her, and having to place her in a group home.  I can share about adopting a Fetal Alcohol Syndrome child.  I can share being excited about becoming a grandparent and  how our grand daughter was born with a rare genetic disorder.  I know about financial stuggles and being wrongfully sued in Federal Court on 64 counts for $20 million.   I could take all these difficult events and tell you how wonderful God is.  How amazing God was during those hard days.  But the one event in my life where God showed His hand the strongest, biggest, most comforting, and amazing was on June 1, 2009 when God once again saved my life.  Is a third time charm?  Maybe! But God saved my life in a terrible car accident.  (Watch my video clips titled "My Event".)

As challenging, difficult, and wonderful all the events were in the above paragraph, God became more real to me in a car accident where I thought I had died.  Though I am grateful for His provisions in the past events.  What excites me more, what amazes me more each and every single day is God forgiving me.  God loving me just where I am.  And He loves me and forgives me everyday. 

Life isn't about jobs, titles, money, houses, sports, music, family, friends, places, clothes, list of do's and don'ts, and not even church.  These things are a part of our lives and our daily affairs.  They play a part in our faith and our worship.  But the priority is JESUS.  JESUS.  JESUS.  Am I going to heaven or hell?  Are you going to heaven or hell?  Are my children going to heaven or hell?  Who I work with .....are they going to heaven or hell?  Who I go to church with....are they going to heaven or hell?  Do I live, act, talk, make decisions based on how my choices may effect someones decision on heaven or hell for themselves?  

I love telling you about my children.  I can brag about our son playing college football.  I can show thousands of pictures of the most beautiful grand daughter in the universe.  But what excites me more than anything else is that God has forgiven me  He's forgiven me of sexual sins, impure thoughts, lies, pride.  God spared me from a life of deep sin. But my sins still nailed Jesus to the cross.  I was a sinner going to hell.  God forgave me.  HALLELUJAH!!!! Can I say that again.  GOD FORGAVE ME of my sins.  Nothing can give peace like a clean heart and a clear mind.  God is good.  I've seen God's amazing work in people I care about.  I want to see God do amazing work in all 5 of my children and their family and children.  God is a mighty and an awesome God.  God is good.  God is AMAZING.

My only regret is that it took my life being out of my control and placed in the hands of God for me to get to a point where I give God ALL the GLORY for anything I may ever do for HIM.  I can not praise Him enough.  We serve an Amazing God.

"There is a river.  That flows from deep within.  There is a fountain that frees a soul from sin.  Come to this water. There is a vast supply.  There is a river, that NEVER shall run dry."