If It Were Up To Me

I've listened to others stories.  And thought that if it were up to me I would have done this or that.  It seems a lot easier to admit what I would do if it's someone else's event.  I've had a few events in my life where I've even thought that "If I had to do it all over again, then I would do....."  I think we've all done that.

There's been events occur that I'm glad that God made the decision.   There are some decisions that are hard to make.  I believe God is a sovereign God.  He knows all things and sees all things. I don't always understand "why" God would choose events the way He does.  Honestly, I can't understand some of His choices.  How could my little brain ever be able to conceive the heart and mind of God?  He created me and the scripture says the "He knows the intent of my heart."  "He knows the number of hairs on our head."  He knows more about me than I know about myself.  The Bible says my "heart is desperately wicked who can know it?" 

As a parent, I have had to make choices for my kids.  They didn't necessarily agree.  When my kids were toddlers and they wanted a cookie 30 minutes before dinner, they would be very upset with my "unfair" answer of "NO.".   Toddlers don't understand how close dinner is and that they need to save their appetite for the meal.  God does that same thing for us.  We don't always see the near future or see what is best for us.

Also, I would let my children choose some things for themselves.  For example, they may ask for some cookies, pieces of candy, or something.  I would answer, "You can have 3 or 4."  I know they will pick 4.  But I was giving them the opportunity to pick the lesser one. Sometimes they would ask to stay up later.  I would give them the choice of 9:00 or 9:30.  And of course everytime they would choose 9:30.  They felt like they were really making some big decisions on their own.  When all along they were really choosing what I wanted them to choose. 

Then there are choices in life that I am so grateful that God just goes ahead and decides for me.  Maybe I would have been afraid to choose.  Or maybe I would have been unable to choose.  When our children were teenagers, we would tell them that if they were ever invited to go somewhere and found it hard to say "No."  Then they could blame us and say, "I can't go.  My Mom and Dad won't let me."  We gladly took the blame in order to encourage our teens to make a positive choice.

There are a lot of events in life that God goes ahead and chooses.  I don't always understand His choice.  Because if it were up to me I would have made a different choice.  For example how can God allow one dedicated believer to suffer with cancer.  And an unbeliever never get sick.  I watched my uncle suffer and die from throat cancer.  He never smoked nor drank alcohol.  He was a preacher and singer.  If it were up to me I wouldn't have chosen for him to die that way. 

I know of a family whose toddler had a cancerous tumor.  Through treatments and medicines he is currently in remission.  I heard of a family this week whose 3 year is dying of cancer.  Over the week end doctors notified the family that the toddler has a few days of living.  If it were up to me I would not have this godly family loose their baby to cancer. 

I know of families with children born with genetic disabilities.  The disablilities range from mild to severe. Babies having open heart surgery at 1 week old.  Babies being born premature and risk having severe mental disabilities.  If it were up to me I would have chosen "healthy" babies.

If it were up to me I would be sure that young people didn't experiment with drugs and alcohol and then have to battle with addictions for the rest of their life.  I've attend funerals were accidents happened and babies, teenagers, and young adults lost their lives before their life began. 

You know what? I'm so thankful that life events are NOT up to me.  Because you see I would mess everything up.  There's a sense of relief to know that God chooses.  He creates and He chooses.  His purpose far exceeds my good intentions.  If believers did not experience these and many other events...how would we ever know what a great God we serve? 

Without difficult events we wouldn't know how God comforts in times of loss, grief, and hardships.  How would we know where our strength comes from?  This is how our faith grows. 

Although my flesh still struggles with if it were up to me syndrome.  I thank the Lord, He over rules my intentions and works in my life inspite of myself.  My friend, if you are in the middle of a crisis...you can truly rest in His arms.  As your heavenly Father, He sees not only your future, but the future of the loved one that's suffering or experiencing challenges. 

Like my teens felt relief and a sense of freedom to allow their parents to decide...so I can feel freedom in knowing God is good.  God is in control.  God is love.  God is peace.  God is.  And if it were up to me I will rest knowing that God is in charge of my life. I don't need to worry.  All I need to do is trust Him. 

Are you trusting the God who can make the difference?  Are you trusting the God that not only created you so therefore He knows you better than anyone?  Are you resting in the God who has shown how much He loves you by sending His only Son to die for you?  I pray you are.  Because if it were up to me...you will.