Our brain is a powerful part of our anatomy. Our brain was created to be the control center of our body. The brain is not just physical. It's emotional as well. That emotional part has taken over my life. I think about the cartoon, "Pinky and the Brain". Two mice who want to "TAKE OVER THE WORLD".
My car accident was June 1, 2009. But it wasn't til April 20, 2011 that I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD. Now my confusion, hyper sensitivity to sounds, avoidance, insomnia, and depression made sense. I was immediately placed on an anti-depressant. The neurologist at Emory Hospital, prescribed Paxil 20 mg and highly recommended I start receiving counseling.
I was nervous starting an anti-depression. Was this the beginning of some place where I didn't want to go? Would I be taking it longer than I ever intended to take it? Would it help? Do I really need it? Lots of questions. The endless questions added anxiety on top of the anxiety I was already living with in PTSD.Like a good patient, I started the new medication as directed. I began to pray and seek out a counselor. I googled all I could about PTSD, anti-depressant medications, and treatment. All the info was helpful. Other than prayer and family/friend support, the best decision I made was finding a counselor. Counseling helps with the many questions.
Counseling is not the easiest treatment. At least for me is isn't. A lot of times it's hard. Pride had to be put aside. After all I was handling myself quit well on my own. Shame had to be rendered powerless. What would people think of me when they find out I see a "shrink". What about the counsel I have given to hundreds of other women? Would anyone care to listen to me now?
Trauma, hard times, and struggles happens in every one's life. It could happen for several reasons.
One, because it's just life. It happens. God Almighty could miraculously change or prevent events in life. But for the most part if it's raining and you run out to your car, if you don't have an umbrella or a rain jacket you will get wet.
Second, because of our own life decisions. You've heard the phrase "Reap what you sow"? Some events happen because we made choices that will have a consequence that's difficult to manage.
After posting and re-reading, I felt I should add something here. Sometimes "others" make decisions that directly or indirectly have an impact on our lives. As bad as I hate to say it, but sometimes we may reap from someone else's sowing. For example, a rape or child abuse of any and all forms. I'm sure there are many other examples where someone else made choices that you were not in any way responsible or the blame. Yet you may suffer or struggle. Such as with PTSD.
Third, because God wants someone else to be comforted. (II Corinthians 1:4) Years ago, when one of my children was struggling with addiction...I, very matter of fact, told God, I didn't want to comfort another parent while their son/daughter struggled with an addiction. But, as you've guest it. It's been my pleasure to hug and cry with several Mom's whose sweet children have gone through this difficult journey.
PTSD is not a picnic. In fact I hate it. Would I choose this journey again?
No WAY!
But would I change it?
No WAY!
And miss what my Lord has for me?
Not a chance.
Lots of prayer. Lots of tears. Lots of support. What a good God I serve.
